For No One
Every time i thought i'd got it made, it seems the taste was not so sweet - David Bowie, Changes
Your day breaks,
your mind aches
You find that all her words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you...
-The Beatles, For No One
'You are never alone unless you allow yourself to be isolated.' I remember writing this a year back in this very blog. Sometimes I wonder if I was a lot smarter back then.
A brief update: I am currently working/studying in Sydney. I am to complete my Masters in Design this year. I am tutoring first year Communications, Architecture at UNSW. I am tutoring violin part time. I am playing badminton for the state. I will be going back to Malaysia indefinitely next year to work....although I have been offered to work as a senior assistant alongside one of my head lecturers in a Design Company that is affiliated to the University. I am hoping to return to Australia in a few years, depending on how my time in Malaysia pans out. Also, I am officially balding.
My status at the moment is akin to that of a soggy piece of driftwood. The tide is trying to pull me forward but I've sunk too deep to go with the flow. I need to break off some pieces stuck to me to release myself and let go. Please wish me luck.
I have big goals...to start my own design school, to make a difference, to achieve personal satisfaction. However it seems that to be massively successful, one has to be head strong, persistent and even a little self-centred, allowing nothing to come in the way of the dream. I am incapable of that. The people around me matter too much... I would sway my goals for the people I care for. For my ultimate goal involves not just myself, but the fulfillment of others as well. It might not be the best I can do, for it involves compromise. But it would be the only way I would feel at peace doing it.
I have learnt so much this year. I've always loved sharing my thoughts with all of you. But there is just a lump in my throat that I have to clear before the words come flowing out again....
posted by Lin @ 9:29 PM
1 Comments:
Lin, your smile in all your pictures are astonishing especially through the 20-something inch LCD screen at work. The words of your current "status" drowns me too, it makes me rather sad because I cannot imagine those words to come out of the same person with those smiles. Well, I actually can.. only because I live with you and see you in that soggy state at home, otherwise I probably can't!
I do want to wish you luck, however, it is not luck that you need so I will not wish you luck. Instead I seek for something more effective (No!, its not the same remedy I suggested for your sleeping haha), it is support..
You have made some tough decisions lately and I can see your current status drives you insane. You sometimes look a little insane at home.. but dont worry, i wont tell anyone haha
Anyways, its rather obvious to me whats sinking you.. we all need to be hopeful but too much hope on something that doesnt change(much) is not called hope, more like silliness. Hope cannot be dwelled in for too long man otherwise it becomes.. despair...?
You are very lucky because you are surrounded by special people(friends and family) who loves you and it is their companionship and advice that will help you pull yourself back up.
All you need is a little bit of direction and a little bit strength because you cannot just flow off again with the tide. Becomming a soggy piece of driftwood is not hard to achieve.
Quote: Lin- "I would sway my goals for the people I care for. For my ultimate goal involves not just myself, but the fulfillment of others as well. It might not be the best I can do, for it involves compromise. But it would be the only way I would feel at peace doing it." ----- Words straight from the heart and carried out accordinly as well, these are qualities to admire for us all. All you need now is the right audience...hmm.. One who cares for you as much as you do, one who can compromise with you and would also sway their goals for you the same way you would sway for them. To find peace within yourself is great, but it would be a pity to have this peace disrupted by another.
Hope this all make sense, had a long day at work, what a blur though...
Anyways, Keep Smiling Tall Girl! You are meant to be the bubblyarchitect so stay bubbly dammit!!!
[Dr =Phil]
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