Impermanence

If you believe in forever, then life is just a one night stand - The Righteous Brothers, Rock And Roll Heaven

Moments gone by, days and nights of events, new faces, old faces. Phases, chapters of life, come and go. Childhood, never to be lived again. Friends, never to be seen again. One day, I woke up having to deal with the fact that a friend had died. Another day, my beagle puppy got stolen. And another...a 3 year relationship was severed. Impermanence is the game we are playing.

Yet, some of us are seeking for something more solid. Something that defies the laws of impermanence. Isn't that why, in primary school, we make a pact that we will be best friends till we grow old and grey? Isn't that why all that 'Forever Friends' merchandise is doing so well- They're marketing those little pink bears as symbols of eternal friendship. Isn't that why...people get married?
So I ponder...life is so friggin' uncertain by nature. Should we be trying to inject some constancy, some stability in to it? Should we go in to relationships that we foresee no future in? Should we stick to a certain place that gives us a sense of security, just because it is the safer and more 'permanent' option?

I have always hated goodbyes. But then again, it comes hand in hand with hellos. I'm not particularly in to religious philosophy or anything, but I can really relate to that ying and yang theory. 2 opposing forces, not necessarily good and bad, but just interrelated forces that ultimately, more or less, balances everything out. When something leaves a void inside of you, it's bound to get filled up eventually. Sometimes you might go around with the emptiness, like wandering around with an exposed wound...but eventually, the void gets filled, even if it means making the effort to fill it yourself. So my friend's legacy lived on, my beagle was found, new friendships were made.

I think I have a love-hate relationship with life's impermanent nature. I mean, it's good coz:
-Without it, I know I would be an indolent bum.
- I would probably be bored to death by routine.
-Life would just be a Truman Show.
-I would take a lot of things for granted.
But...
-I don't like airports and goodbyes.
-I am also not one who handles change well.
-Sometimes, permanence comes hand in hand with comfort. Occasionally, one likes to feel comfortable.
-Also, impermanence makes life harder to manage, or control. I think I'm okay with this. Although it drives some people I know crazy. Control freaks, mainly.

Maybe I'm just moping because my 2 hangout poker/shithead buddies left me this morning. Or that I'll be going to KL tomorrow morning to be with close friends but will be leaving by Tuesday. Or that Bobby is now too big and heavy for me to carry around. Or that my friggin' new laptop is playing up or or....my red streaks from my hair have faded.
It's just as well we speak philosophically about impermanence and life, but at the end of it, the point is, something not lasting, can really be a pain in the arse...