Identification Please
For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels. - Paul Anka; Frank Sinatra; Elvis Presley, My WayI believe I’ve worked out why I don’t receive as much feedback from my friends back home in Penang, although they claim to visit....
Lin and Hai Lin, I think hold different identities, in a way…or rather different connotations. This blog is mainly about Lin. My Penang friends don’t know her that well. They can’t relate to her. We’ve got fewer things in common. That is what me thinks, anyway.
- Lin is me after high school, in Australia. Lin’s close friends are different to Hai Lin’s close friends. Lin had a serious boyfriend. She is more artsy and knows less boundaries. Lin generally has more on her mind and on her plate. She lives in an apartment on High Street and pays her bills and shops and cooks and cleans. She loves her cocktails, poker & concerts. Can often be spotted with headphones on, walking to the gym or on a bus just thinking about…stuff. I believe Lin is older, age-wise.
- Hai Lin lives in a house with 2 dogs and a garden in Penang. She is usually more relaxed and can be seen hanging out with old school friends at shopping malls or cafes. Family means the world to her. Late nights out are hardly common. She enjoys driving because it allows her to be in a moving ‘space-that-plays-good-music’. (Also, unlike Lin, she has access to a car!) She sleeps more, talks on the phone more, watches tv more. I also believe she speaks slightly differently.
Both can’t help bobbing to good music & thrives on laughter and good company. Amongst other crossovers…
Is holding firm to your character being stubborn? Are chameleons…weak?
Many a time have I seen a friend shake their head in disappointment regarding another friend with the comment “sigh…he/she has changed, I feel like I don’t know him/her anymore.”
....Doesn’t that just mean… they didn’t know him/her that well to begin with?
When we grow, do we add on or do we evolve?
Identity VS Experience. Ever wondered, if say, a Donkey were to live my life from start till now, how much of a Lin would she be? How much of personality is manufactured?
And then there is the concept of nicknames and how say, Bubbles, Giant, Penguin, Baja, Dory, LIIIIiiiiiiiinnnnn etc vary in terms of expectations of character. I know, they appear to be just nicknames. But I think there might be more to it than that.
Close friends, penny for your thoughts.
*pics taken at Hyde Park Barracks, Sydney May 2005
posted by Lin @ 1:39 PM
4 Comments:
It's like you live in two parallel universes don't you?
Hai Lin and Lin.
The only Hai Lin I know is when I say "Haaaai, Lin."
Seriously, I think we all evolve. Evolving implies a slight improvement in characteristics, a slight abandonment of the obsolete. Throw out that tail of yours, no longer needed. But then you still feel the tingling on your backside from time to time don't you?
Some things never change, as they say, as far as I know, you're still the pyjama-wearing airport-going sassy girl we all know, from every dimension. Just that now you are more self conscious of stuff like belly dancing in front of the camera that's all.
I love the way everything you write makes me think, sometimes for days...it's like a constant source of food for the mind, which, like infamous beef stew, just gets better and better...
About people changing, I think that essentially we're always the same person, but are constantly evolving in response to our surroundings. My theory is that it's like the solar system. Everything (planets,moons,stars) has its own gravitational field. And when two things get close enough their fields will act upon each other. Tides will rise and fall, paths will eclipse each other, and sometimes if they collide with enough force different forms will emerge.
So just like a new moon or star, every new person you meet brings something new into your world - whether it's a different way of looking at something, or a reinforcement of your own beliefs/ideals. And even after they've left, their effect, no matter how small, will always remain part of you, your history, and how you respond to forces that act on you in the future.
And as different stars surround you, the galaxy around you changes. Although our composition stays constant, our form morphs depending on our company, their expectations, the social environment and other things we may have previously 'bumped' into.
For me, clara/clarz/rabbit act very differently in their own galaxies. But they're really just the same, orbiting space in the company of other crazy (& giant) planets, gazing at the bright lights and searching for stars to wish upon.
Hey Lin, Hai Lin, Hai, Hailin Lee, Hai Hai(?).
Do you sometimes still feel weird seeing "Lee" behind "Hai Lin" on something as important as your ATM card?
I think we're born with innate qualities, others conditioned like names.
I don't think we fundamentally change or evolve in a new environment.
We had it in ourselves all along to begin with.
My dear Bally. You articulate it well. And yes nicknames...growing into nicknames...I think we all suffer from the dualities of being Us home and being Us away. I believe, We are still Us. And if we can stick it out as friends through being this and that, then we can survive anything. I'm being random. But yeah, I think I don't need to have a real point other than to say, I get you. Both Lin and Hai Lin and even Bally. I get you. *grin*
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